Self-Care Makes Me Feel Guilty

The most recent version of the National Association of Social Workers Code of Ethics (2021) acknowledges that “professional self-care is paramount for competent and ethical social work practice.” I interpret this to mean that we cannot effectively take care of others or sustain a career in social work unless we take care of ourselves. Knowing this is one thing but doing it is not always as simple.

What is your relationship with self-care?

Developing and implementing a comprehensive self-care practice for the life of a social work career can often feel like a long sequence of hurdles. Tuning-in to self can help us identify our hurdles, figure out what works for us, and support our ability to create a dynamic and sustainable professional self-care pathway.

What stands between you and professional self-care?

I'm too busy. Or I don't have time. Does the hurdle of time stand in your way? If your life as it is currently organized doesn’t leave time for self-care, then I encourage you to consider how the laws of subtraction can benefit you, your life, your professional self-care practice, and your career. This principle asks that we inspect what is taking up space and time in our lives and consider the art of removing anything excessive, complicating, wasteful or harmful. Furthermore, it challenges us to be disciplined with our time — our lives — and refrain from mindlessly adding things in the first place. The idea that our lives (professional and personal) might benefit more from subtracting than adding is not a natural inclination, but there truly is great opportunity in it. The belief that self-care always means doing more is a myth. If your hurdle is time then taking care of yourself just might start with considering what you can stop doing, cancel, say NO to, or end.

I have not earned self-care. I feel guilty putting myself first. Does a hurdle of value and worth stand in your way? There are lots of reasons why self-sacrificing behaviors are virtuous for our personal and professional relationships, but like many other things in life, when done in the extreme it can lead to detrimental consequences. Self-care is not selfish nor is it something that we need to earn; it is, however, vital to your relationship with self and ethical social work practice. Professional self-care supports competence and enables us to relax, decompress, process the things we struggle with, and look at the influences that drain us.

These are only two of the many self-care hurdles we can face in our social work careers. We discuss additional hurdles in the It's Easier to Help Others post.

What are your hurdles?

Identifying the specific hurdles that stand in your way is an important initial step toward activating professional self-care and subsequently your best professional self.

Professional self-care is “purposeful engagement in practices that promote effective and appropriate use of the self in the professional role within the context of sustaining holistic health and well-being.” (Lee & Miller, 2018)

Again, we cannot effectively take care of others or sustain a career in social work unless we take care of ourselves. The activity below can help you identify what you need to take care of yourself and discover your potential.

Listen to yourself. Check-in.

To help identify the hurdles that stand between you and professional self-care, I invite you to carve out 15 minutes to sit down with the questions below. If time is your hurdle, you can break the questions apart and tackle them one at a time. This means you will only need 5 minutes at a time.

What do I need to produce my best work?

What do I need to be the best version of myself in my professional role?

What stands in my way?

GROW is dedicated to building a supportive community and resources that influence your professional self-care and development. If you are looking for additional support for yourself or your team I encourage you to set up a Complementary Professional Self-Care Discovery Consultation.